Day: 6
Today's Weight: 242.6 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 244.6 lbs
Weight lost: 2.0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 5.8 lbs
| Food | Time | Calories |
| | 7:45 AM | 195 cal |
| 1 tbs flaxseed | | 45 cal |
| | | 50 cal |
| | 4:00 PM | 50 cal |
| 5 peach slices | 5:30 PM | 50 cal |
Total: 390 calories
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| Exercise | Area of Focus | How long? |
| Light cardio | General/overall | 20 min |
| Walk to/from bus | General/legs | 20 min (10 both ways) |
| | | |
| | | |
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...My Motivators... {I don't think I have any today, except Trisha, my eternal rock (and wifey)...}
...My Demotivators... { Jesse not taking the pics... Jesse probably hating how fat I look in the pictures I sent him... Things probably being over between Jesse and I because he can't stand how fat I am... Arthur not calling me or answering my calls, probably because of how fat I am; he probably found someone better... me being upset over Arthur when I don't even LIKE him... Calling Nep and him giving a quick "Hey I'm busy! Maybe I'll call you back" and he never calls back not that you ever really expected him to... Every man in my life letting me down, because you are fat... They have all found something better, or know they can do better... because you are FAT. Your fatness will always get in the way of you being happy. Always. So get rid of it.}
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I don't really know what to say. I broke down last night, at least not with food. It seems there is some triangle in which I can have two pillars of success, but never the third, or however many it may be -- just, not EVERYTHING can go right in a day, for that is too much to ask for. Jesse probably thinks I look disgusting... Arthur probably found some new fat desperate lonely girl who will ACTUALLY put out... Nep was probably on a date with some new girl... they'll all move on, and they will all find better than me. I'm like a great novelty to guys: I seem soo sweet and soo awesome, but then they get to know me and they pinpoint what is wrong.. The way I look.. the way I am emotionally... my morals... it's always something. I think it all stems down to my weight. I will always be hated if I am fat. Always.
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