Day: 1
Today's Weight: 242.6
Yesterday's Weight: --- lbs
Weight lost: 0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: - lbs
| Food | Time | Calories |
| 3 Flaxseed cookies | 10 AM | 400 cal |
| 2 slices buntcake | 3 PM | 300 cal |
Total: 800 calories
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| Exercise | Distance/Resistance | Time (Cals burned) |
| Cardio bike | 1 mile | 12 min (144 cal) |
| Treadmill | .60 mile | 10 min (100 cal) |
| Free weight dancing | 5 lb & 3 lb wghts | 15 min (120 cal) |
Total burned: 400 calories
Differential: +400 calories
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...My Motivators... { To be happy...}
...My Demotivators... { Trevor breaking up with me... Trevor talking about how beautiful the applebee's waitresses are but never telling me I'm beautiful... Being alone in this world due to my obesity... Knowing that no one will ever love me unless I am thinner...}
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Ana, I'm returning to you in good graces and with compassion. I hope you take me into your arms with the same kindness and forgiveness. I ask for your strength, to keep me hollow and empty, both physically and emotionally in order to finally achieve a semblance of happiness.
Trevor broke up with me this morning. He told me last night he was going to applebee's, and how the waitresses are soo "out of his league." Unrelated, he broke up with me due to not being ready for a serious relationship. I'm not out of his league. I'm not beautiful enough to be out of his league. I'm just some fat chick he liked to hang out with and fuck... that's all I am good for.. a few laughs and a fuck. If I were beautiful, he would want to be with me long-term. If I were thinner, he would be sexually and emotionally attracted to me and fall in love. But I'm not thin nor beautiful. I am just some fat chick he liked to fuck around with. That is what I will always be, unless I finally do this. If I do not stay committed and lose the weight, I will be alone forever. Trevor does not love me because I am fat. It will always be that way unless I change it.
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