Day: 4
Today's Weight: 237.0 lbs
Yesterday's Weight: 238.0 lbs
Weight lost: 1.0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 5.6 lbs
| Food | Time | Calories |
| Maple&Brown sugar oatmeal | 6:20 AM | 160 cal |
| same oatmeal | 9:05 AM | 160 cal |
| Sushi | 12 PM | a lot? |
Total: --- calories
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| Exercise | Distance/Resistance | Time (Cals burned) |
| Treadmill | 2.02 miles | 40 min (400 cal) |
| Dancing w/ free weights | 3 lbs | 10 lbs (50 cal) |
Total burned: 450 calories
Differential: +--- calories
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...My Motivators... { To be thin... To feel wanted... To feel confident... }
...My Demotivators... { Trevor breaking up with me.... }i
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I went to the gym last night. It is really beginning to take its toll upon my abs. I could barely sit up this morning without wincing from the pain. Lindsey showed me how to use these two ab machines that I had deemed only worthy of those already in shape just trying to tone up. But my fat ass plopped upon them and shakily, slowly, successfully completed three sets of ten for both machines.
I had a dream about Nep last night. Subconsciouly I know I think about him all the time, but it's been a while since I dreamt about him to the extent at which I remember. It was actually an extremely disgusting dream, but in the dream I was thin. He was doing something gross to me (it involved sex of the wilder nature... and the one thing I will not have involved with sex...), and the only thing I was worried about after he smiled and laughed was if the remains would make me gain any weight. I was thin in the dream. I like to interpret it as I was thin and he returned to me, and still he treated me like -- literally -- shit. And even though I catered to his desires, it was my weight loss I was worried about! I think in a twisted way that's a good thing. I want this so badly. And I am going to achieve it.
I still have no appetite for food. I eat because if I don't I will be too weak to do the work I need to. I am eating for the sole purpose of enhancing my weight loss. To have energy enough to work out and work. I cannot wait to reap the rewards of what it means it be beautiful.
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