...My Twenty-first Day...

Day: 21
Today's Weight: 236.6 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 237.0 lbs

Weight lost: 0.4 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 11.8 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
Fudgesicle	8:30 AM	40 cal
Pancakes	12:45 PM	100 cal

Total: --- calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { Goal: to get as close as possible to 230 by the 26th. . .}

...My Demotivators... { Gunna try my hardest to stay positive.}

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I... It's all over here in Oregon. I move back to New York in 6 short days... I'm not even sure how I feel yet.. it's still all such a whirl of events... Anyway. I wanna look as decent as I can with this time crunch before I see my friends/family again. I wish I had more time. But I'll do the best I can. Ana.. please help me.

...My Twentieth Day...

Day: 20
Today's Weight: 237.0 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 236.6 lbs

Weight lost:+ 0.4 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 11.4 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
Fudgesicle	9:30 AM	40 cal
Fudgescicle	12:30 PM	40 cal
Saltines	2:00 PM	120 cal
Cereal	4:00 PM	200 cal
Baked potato	5:00 PM	300 cal

Total: 700 calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { Getting to 235!!!}

...My Demotivators... { Gunna try my hardest to stay positive.}

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Almost at 235. Just gotta keep pushing.

...My Nineteenth Day...

Day: 19
Today's Weight: 236.6 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 238.8 lbs

Weight lost: 2.2 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 11.8 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
Doritos	1:30 AM	160 cal
two potato slices, tiny piece of steak	8:30 AM	100 cal
Fudgesicle	12:00 PM	40 cal

Total: --- calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { Getting to 235!!!}

...My Demotivators... { Gunna try my hardest to stay positive.}

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Almost at 235. Just gotta keep pushing.

...My Eighteenth Day...

Day: 18
Today's Weight: 238.8 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 238.8 lbs

Weight lost: 0.0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 9.6 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
Bowl of cereal	8:30 AM	220 cal
Slice of bread w/ butter, chcocolate chips	10:30 AM	220 cal
Chocolate rice cake	2:15 PM	60 cal
Fudgesicle	4:15 PM	40 cal

Total: 540 calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { Getting to 235!!!}

...My Demotivators... { Gunna try my hardest to stay positive.}

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I am going to the state fair on Saturday with Akram most likely. And I know I'm gonna eat bad. My goal is to get to 235 by Saturday. It's kind of a lot, but I kind of think I can do it ;) I'm just kind of that awesome, hehehe.

Go down scale! I know I should feel relieved when the weight stays the same, but it's like c'mooon... not even .2lb ;( LoL. Tomorrow for sure!!

...My Seventeenth Day...

Day: 17
Today's Weight: 238.8 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 240.6 lbs

Weight lost: 1.8 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 9.6 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
baked potato w/ butter, sour cream *Multivitamin*	9:00 AM	300 cal
chocolate rice cake	12:30 PM	60 cal
5 unsalted saltines	2:00 PM	60 cal
1 fudgesicle	4:30 PM	40 cal
mixed veggies w/ grilled chicken	5:30 PM	180 cal

Total: 640 calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { I am officially out of the 240s again! And I'm never going back!!! LOL.}

...My Demotivators... { Gunna try my hardest to stay positive.}

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Woohooo!! Back in the 230s! Next goal -- 220s damnit! LOL. I haven't been below 227 lbs in years; that is the lowest weight I can remember getting myself to before meeting Nep, so.. hitting 225 will be HUGE for me. Literally, HUGE. And it will mean 30 lbs GONE since my highest weight!!!

I'm doing so good, my leg is feeling better, I'm resisting bad food. Maybe with Ana's subtle help -- I made a fat juicy buttery baked potato, and the cheese i covered it in was MOLDY. So I tossed the whole thing. So instead, I had two chocolate rice cakes as dinner. I was like "Gee, thanks Ana!" LOL.


.:...My Future...:.

I'm gonna look so good some day. So, so good. I just know it. I'm gonna be the object of desire for a lot of men. And you wanna know something? I want revenge... "She Wants Revenge."

" Shake off the rain and dry off
And come inside tonight
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be, love.. "


I will be the sweetest, sexiest girl to three men in particular... I will put on a sad, comforting face at the fact tha they are alone. And I will stay single, so that they can all get their hopes up.. and when it comes time that those three assholes are on their knees begging for another chance, the chance I gave them along with my heart and hope and soul.... I will give them my sincerest apologies... But their chance has gone away.


"Remember when you said you didnt love me anymore, and that you had a total disregard for my feelings..?"

"Remember when all I said was I wanted a friend, then you convinced me you liked me to try and persuade me to fuck you..?"

"Remember when you lead me on for a month and then wouldn't even meet me as you tried to pursue other girls..?"

"Because I do remember. And I've moved on. And I'll be there for you as a friend... But you can never, ever have me again."

...My Sixteenth Day...

Day: 16
Today's Weight: 240.6 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 242.4 lbs

Weight lost: 1.8 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 7.8 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
mixed veggies w/ chicken *Multivitamin*	9:00 AM	180 cal
Chocolate rice cake	11:00 AM	60 cal
5 unsalted saltines	1:00 PM	60 cal
1 fudgesicle	3:00 PM	40 cal
2 chocolate ricecakes	4:14 PM	120 cal

Total: 460 calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?
Exercise bike	Legs	10 min

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...My Motivators... { Geting back into the 230s!!!}

...My Demotivators... { Jesse cancelling... Jesse saying he's soo busy he can't really meet me, then he posts on craigslist to meet new women... Men. In general. They all SUCK.}

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Yay yay almost back into the 230s! Hopefully tomorrow!!!! My legs are still really sore from the lake, but I'm trying to work thru it.

...My Fifteenth Day...

Day: 15
Today's Weight: 242.4 lb
Yesterday's Weight: 242.4 lbs

Weight lost: 0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 6.0 lbs

Food	Time	Calories
Big bowl cereal	9:00 AM	350 cal
1/2 cup mixed veggies	12:00 PM	80 cal
1 chocolate rice cake	3:00 PM	60 cal
5 unsalted saltines	5:30 PM	60 cal

Total: 550 calories

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Exercise	Area of Focus	How long?

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...My Motivators... { >_> Making the scale go DOWN... feeling sexy.}

...My Demotivators... { Jesse... Nep... Arthur... Men in general. Isn't it funny that they all look alike? And they all treat me like shit? Hah. Hah. hah. At least I'm consistent. Here they are, ladies and gentlemen! The three men that control the joy and misery in my life with a mere few words.}


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I'm not constipated anymore, so I'm back full force with ana. I went to the lake yesterday with Arthur and my legs are SO SORE. My thighs are kiiiiling me. But my weight stayed the same, so. Yay? :) Im ready to start making the scale go down again, woohoo!!!